I took sick leave today because I'm feeling queasy in the morning and Melbourne's been a bitch in terms of weather lately. But all I did all day long was staying up in my bed!! I caught up on some sleep that's for sure but seriously? What about the time optimisation plan I promised myself? Where's the books I'm suppse to read, news I'm supposed to follow and trading I'm suppose to catch up aside from work?
Very displeased with self.
But this post isn't about how lazy and a time waster I am. Was. Err, aparently if referring to undesirable behaviour in past tense helps to over come it. This post is going to be some rants on the predicaments I find myself to be in these days.
Work has been going smooth lately but I find myself slipping into old behaviours like not paying attention to my work as I used to, which, is dangerously alarming!! I have a reputation to uphold and therefore must be on top of things. On the other hand technical wise I have outperformed the other newbies and David is exceptionally pleased with me - so far. So my focus would be more on the side of improving my networking ability, my ability to speak convincingly, cohenrently and succintly again comes to play an important role in my dealing with clients. I have a LOOONG way to go in that regard and it's getting a little bit frustrating.
Also I'm starting to become uneasy at work. The sense of satisfaction I get from work starts to wane a little - I want to accomplish more things!! I want to still run my trust, I want to start a property trust, I want to finish the lyrics I still owe Terry (oh my god I better get it done tomorrow). But at times I feel like I can't do all these at once and I'm putting myself under quiet a bit of pressure. My health is not helping either, I'm not happy that I can't sleep early and getting sick during the day, it's dragging my efficiency and frankly annoys me.
Ok, it might be the PMS that's really bothering me, I'm more easily agitated.
But, from tomorrow onwards I'm going to rise above these issues. I will have my priorities straight. and they are in this order:
1. Work - churn out good quality reports this month.
2. Attend as many meetings and networking events as possible, learn from David at every opportunity presented.
3. Analyse APC in my spare time.
Am I officially turning into a workaholic? Lol.
There has been some interesting thigns happening in my life - so I'm not compeletely obssessed with work.
A couple of weeks ago I met this beautiful, prince charming looking boy while shopping for mother's day present at Ralph Lauren. When I say he's beautiful I mean truly naturally a pretty boy. Blond hair, blue eyes, perfect teeth, and 100% feminene. He's more girly than I am, which makes perfect sense why he got my attention in the first place. I believe he's gay. Anyway I chatted him up, well he came on to me first really and I took the opportunity to ask for his number. So now I have his number in my phone and I'm interested in making a friend in him - my first ever gay male friend who also coincidently is a stylist! - but I'm not sure how to approach him and make it appear, casual. hmmm. haha.
At work there's this blond girl, she's in the operations department and I think she's attracted to me. I don't mind having sex but I'm not interested in a relationship, so I better handle this carefully. Last time I slept with a coworker and told her this is as far as I want it to go, she quit the job afterwrads so I better not screw this one up. We are having a half year annual meeting coming up in June, during the three day convention we're having a theme party which I'm thrilled in anticipation! Plus I'll get to meet the entire company from all states, some I've met via video conferences but it'd be nice to meet them in person.
Another very fresh piece of news is, last night I went to a networking convension with colleagues, and I met the MD of the private equity firm that held the event. Late last night I received an email from him saying that he'll be in Melbourne next week and he wonders if I want to 'catch up'. Catch Up? I barely know the guy! Ok, out of courtesy I agreed - acquiersced to his proposition. I figured, it wouldn't hurt to have lunch and get to know someone who might potentially be an important business contact, right? Ok, he emailed me back and basically said he can't have lunch as he's locked into meetings in the couple of days he'll be in town, he's only available for dinner. DINNER? Again, I barely know the guy! Dinner would be too awkward right? And, if this is him asking for a date (I might be thinking too much here so ignore my self indulgence), I'll appear too easy if I said yes?! Yes? Anyway I'll put it off til tomorrow to get back to him. Have to think this over. I barely know the guy! In fact, I only remembered his face after googling him. Meh.
I've also started on my plan to build my prvate investors guild/advisory. I've got in touch with Shaun (who I'll meet up this Friday), Robin(who's currently in Tasmania and will call me when she gets back in a few days), Donald (who's too busy running his energy start up) and J (who's sick as a dog haha but we'll meet up when he's clean of germs). Still on my list I've got to call - Tim (bet he's caught up with exams now) and Jian Ming. I heard the muis dinner is this Friday maybe I can rock up to meet a couple more people, if I'm not too tired. So yeah, it's happening...slowly but it's making progress.
Ah, I love this place, a utter emotional dump. I started this post feeling unhappy and now I'm amused and hopeful. Hmm I'm amused by myself - am I turning into a cuckoo? Haha it's 11:30 already I better hit the bed.
One last word. I did something extremely stupid today. I deleted all my msn contacts. I lost your contact. I checked my phone and realised I have deleted your number last year. And all the messages between us. Everything, wiped out. As if nothing has ever happened. I googled you, hoping to find your myspace, your facebook, but I can't? Where are you now? What happened? Wherever you are, I still hope to find you. It's been a long time but I can't get over you, you are still the only one who is always in my heart. Ah, I'm disgustingly sentimental, again! But I do hope to find you, and see for myself that you are well. God, are you listening? Please?
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